I'm not a member of a local church. I
have visited a few churches and assemblies, but my attendance is not
regular. The Bible does say not to forsake the assembling of
yourselves, but under dire circumstances, this must be carried out in
unconventional ways. I have contemplated starting an assembly, it's a
very real option, but for now, I participate in visits with friends,
and our daily Bible studies. I want to tell the reasons for not
attending a local church, your church may well be like the following
descriptions. I'll start with general reasons, and move to specifics.
Going to most churches is dangerous
for my children.
I can't stand the trends and the
traditions.
I'm a foreigner there.
More specifically, there isn't enough
difference between local churches and the society around them. The
following list refers to how people live during the week, not their
Sunday morning activity.
The church members wear the same
clothing fashions as the rest of society.
They live in the same houses.
They drive the same cars.
In order to support the last two, they
have the same amount of debt, and two incomes.
They watch the same TV shows, also the
same magazines, DVD's, music, and other media.
They send their children to the same
schools.
I also have major doctrinal differences
with most churches, things like:
Polarizing over the free will debate,
and the Charismatic debate
Identifying with the Republican party.
Or worse, the Democrats.
Being led by the surrounding society,
like a dog on a leash, rather than leading.
Still more specifically, attendance is
dangerous for my children not so much because of what is said and
done during the service, but because they come in contact with other
children. The Internet is interesting, it has some really bad
content, and some really good outcomes. One of those are the meetings
which form of people with like interests. They're classes you can
attend to learn hands on about a topic. We were at one for a certain
agricultural group. There is a family we know, who are very involved
in their church. As we were leaving, their children were in their
family van, waiting for the parents, who were attending some last
minute details. Our children were near the van chatting with theirs.
One of their children started singing the lyrics for a favorite hip
song about the interactions between a boyfriend and girlfriend.. They
were gleeful about it, but I had to remove my children from this
abomination. It was awkward but necessary.
One of the biggest problems faced by
society is that people move too quickly from induction to deduction,
they don't gather enough information before coming to a conclusion.
So it is, I try to limit that in myself, try to imagine what the
other side might say. Something like: “You can't protect children
all their lives, they won't know how to deal with it if they're never
exposed to it.” Really? You're unaware of how powerful a motivation
lust is? How addictive it is? Why do you not give them a bottle of
whiskey? Some cocaine? Probably because children don't have the
discipline to regulate things so powerful. Not only that, you're
going to expose them to these things, then make them wait? How nice.
Maybe you wouldn't mind if they didn't wait, you know, experiment
with each other. After all, they need to know how to deal with it.
That is stupid. Yes I said it, you_are_acting_STUPID if you expose
your kids to this stuff. I have a sister in law that calls TV child
abuse. Well said Auntie M.
I realize the dangers of over sheltering
the children. I've seen kids who went to an opposite extreme once
they left the rules of their parents' home. Worse still are people
that trust in the rules or their upbringing as salvation, being the
hardest ones to convince of their true spiritual condition. These are
huge issues, and that's probably an understatement. But how about
raising the children with a discreet teaching of the power and sin of
uncontrolled lust, teaching them that God wants people to enjoy it in
the context of marriage. As they get older, you explain more of the
details, and they get to see real life examples of people that went
outside the lines and crashed.
More later, thank you for reading.
Remember, if this strikes a nerve, be brutally honest with yourself,
don't “kill the messenger”. You might eliminate him, but truth
will stay. Psalm 51:6 is about intellectual honesty: "Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts..."
